What to Laugh about now were not Sailing

[jack sparrow]

NINE MONTHS LATER !!!!!




Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

"I realize its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house."


"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.


But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.


He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?"


"Yes, I do." said Bob


"Did you, err, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"


"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did."


"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?"


Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did." "Why do you ask?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"She just died and left me everything."
.
.
(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you? now keep that smile for the rest of the day.)

[onewaygeorge]

With jokes like that it's going to be a very long winter

[jack sparrow]

One for you George
Another long winter???

The Priest and a Rabbi.

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.

After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked:

"Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"

The rabbi responded:
"Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."

The priest then asked:

"Have you ever eaten pork?"

To which the rabbi replied:

"Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham
sandwich."

The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest:

"Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"

The priest replied: "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."

The rabbi then asked him:

"Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"

The priest replied:
"Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith.

The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silently thinking for

about five minutes.

Finally, the rabbi said: "Beats a ham sandwich, doesn't it?".

[onewaygeorge]

Thankyou. I do wonder how old that joke is?

[dr.syn]

Then there's Paddy and his two inseparable mates who were always together. Paddy got killed in a bad fire and the police needed someone to identify the body. They asked one of his mates Murphy, to id him but he said he was too badly burnt to know. Turn him over says Murf, no that's not him. Then they asked Brendan, too badly burnt says he, turn him over. No that's not paddy. How do you know that says the copper. Well every where we went people would say, "here comes paddy with them two ar#"so#@s"